We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
