I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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