I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
