Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Randomize
