she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
