so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
