OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
