My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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