He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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