he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
