He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
