Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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