anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
