Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
