when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
