is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
