he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
