I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
