This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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