...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
