Will you blow on my dice?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
