You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Randomize
