I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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