I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
