i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
