Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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