The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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