I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
