Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
