I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
