Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
