i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i just sent this text using only my big toe
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
