I want to stick my p in your. b.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Randomize
