my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
pop tarts are not kleenex
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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