I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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