So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
well I can't set my house on fire every night
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
