So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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