after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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