After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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