why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
