I want to stick my p in your. b.
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
