1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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