her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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