u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
