I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I smell like Dick and happiness
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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