i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
