Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
