Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Life is so much better after having sex.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
