he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
