The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Randomize
