Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
