i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
This house was built for laser tag.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
he just fucked me for my cheese..
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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