drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
